Real Grass and Droughts

Got a lot of grass but no water? Whatever should you do? Help keep the water Nazis at bay with Razspray!

Razspray has been known to help cut down the amount of water that healthy grass needs to survive. The less water your lawn needs the less money you will have to put out for lawn maintenance. We know this is a no-brainer but hey we’ve got to write something here and some of you have been watching way to much TV. Your critical thinking capacity has been replaced with mindless political propaganda and enterTRAINment!

Why is Razspray so revolutionary you say? Science bitch. F’ckn science. We’ve created a chemical so f’ckn strong that it actually reprograms the shit out of your grass. Literally, your grass barely needs to poo anymore and that’s why it needs less water. Crazy huh? Well imagine if your body was so sufficient at absorbing food that you only needed to go to the bathroom once or twice a month instead of 2 times or more a day!

That’s right, with Razspray you will only need to water your lawn once or twice a month even in the harshest of conditions. Don’t believe us…we don’t care. You know why? Because all the f’ckn rich-ass oil shieks in Dubai use our shit. That’s right. Those rich motherfuckers are trying to save money by conserving their water even though they more than can afford it. But hey, oil’s taken a hit lately and those 9/11 conspirators need to funnel as much money as they can to ISIS so they can divert true Muslims from the fact that they own sex slaves and like to abuse children.

Of course that’s neither here nor there but what is relevant is that our product fucking works in a desert! We could easily cure this whole global warming thing but let’s be honest, unless your Al Gore, who the fuck cares.

Anyways…

If you are a Landscaper or Lawn Company then you might might want to get our product cause you’ll be able to bill the shit out your customers afterwards. They’re gonna need your services more than ever because their fucking grass is so fucking healthy that it is going to turn their yards into rain forest eco systems overnight. Did you know that in the early stages of development that our product was the reason that whole ‘Search for Spock’ movie ever got made. That’s right. The studios were ready to write off Spock. They thought the fact that we could regenerate a planet was too far fetched until some rich asshole sitting on the board of Universal studios told them about the amazing results he was getting with our product and how it turned his backyard into a Tiger preserve. Sure his kid got killed but who cares…Fucking Tigers Man in his backyard! You know you want some.

So run on down to your local health food store and pick yourself up some. Sure it has glyphosates there and will probably give you cancer but we’re not worried. Just eat some of that fucking miracle grass it’s gonna grow and you’ll beat cancer’s ass quicker than you can say Monsanto should really be called MonSATAN.

Razspray baby….fucking get some.